Redline - allymoodyneko week2

(Week 2) Redlines done for ~AllyMoodyNeko, all copyrights belong to them (I just drew the helpful scribbles, the image and character are theirs alone).

I'm submitting this in hopes someone else may glean useful information. :3 (sorry this is huge!)

What is a Redline?: Redlines are when an artist takes another artist's artwork and draws over it to help point out mistakes and useful information for the sole purpose of helping the other artist learn. It's a teaching mechanism and is not meant in any derogatory way - but instead, as honest, helpful feedback. As part of a new weekly tradition, I am offering to do Redlines free of charge, no credit required for any artist that asks me to, every Saturday and Sunday. Think of it as a personal mini-tutorial